前幾天有一個學(xué)生來咨詢留學(xué)問題，在我們的談話過程中，這個學(xué)生充滿了活力，說話非常激動。但是當(dāng)我們問到她關(guān)于志愿方面的問題的時候，她突然陷入了沉默。了解之后才知道原來在她的申請中，是她的媽媽為她選擇了專業(yè)。她也是在這次談話后才知道自己將要學(xué)習(xí)的專業(yè)是心理學(xué)。在她自己知道之前，我們就已經(jīng)知道了。
　　A client came in the other day for a consultation. During our conversations, she was full of energy, literally bouncing in her chair at times while talking. Then when we asked her about her intended major, she all of a sudden fell silent. It turns out that on her application, her mother actually chose her major for her. It was only at that meeting that she found out that she was going to major in psychology. We knew what she was going to study in college before she did.
　　之后我一直在腦海里回憶這件事，因?yàn)樗f明了一個在中國反復(fù)出現(xiàn)的現(xiàn)象。顯然，家長都想給自己的孩子最好的東西，但是很多時候，為了保證孩子以后的成功，家長們做的過于多了。
　　I kept replaying this event in my head many days afterwards, because it illustrates one reoccurring theme that I have noticed while working here in China. Parents obviously want the best for their children, but many times, overreach their jurisdictions in order to ensure their children’s sUCcess. 
　　我明白這其中有許多文化和社會因素，由于其復(fù)雜性，我們不能充分探討。與西方國家相比，中國父母的教養(yǎng)方式大為不同，從傳統(tǒng)角度來說，中國家長在孩子的生活中扮演一個更為實(shí)際的角色。同時，考慮到中國教育系統(tǒng)的嚴(yán)格性，學(xué)生們做不到將時間或者精力花費(fèi)在作業(yè)以外的事情上。
　　I understand that there are many cultural and societal factors in play here that may be too complicated to explore fully.     Chinese parenting is very different from their Western counterparts, as they traditionally take a more hands-on role in their children’s lives. Also given the rigors of the Chinese edUCation system, students cannot afford to spend the time nor mental capacity to doing something outside of their coursework. I get it.
　　但這一切，我只想用一個問題來回應(yīng)：如果家長溺愛他們二十幾歲的孩子，盡可能地幫孩子填寫好申請和選擇專業(yè)，那么一旦他/她來到美國，你覺得將他/她將如何生存？如果學(xué)生只負(fù)責(zé)學(xué)習(xí)，而讓父母為自己照顧好其他一切事情，那么在環(huán)境完全不同的國外，他們將如何平衡自己的生活呢？如何在學(xué)習(xí)購物、烹飪、繳納房租和電話費(fèi)以及與室友生活等生活技能的同時，應(yīng)對更為困難的課程呢？
　　But to this all, I just want to respond with one question: if parents are coddling their 20 something year old children, going as far as to filling out the application and selecting a major, how do you think the student will survive once he or she reaches the US? If students have everything taken care of for them so that their only duty is to study, how will they balance living in a foreign country with a completely different environment? How will they be able to handle an arguably even more difficult curriculum in the US, while also learning for the first time daily tasks sUCh as buying groceries, cooking, paying their rent and cell phone bill, and living with a roommate. 
　　家長們是否過于注重他們的孩子將被怎樣的學(xué)校錄取，而忽視了孩子成長和成熟的其他方式呢？顯然，對于這個問題，沒有百分之百正確的答案，所以我想要聽聽你們的想法。你們對此有什么意見呢？
　　Are parents putting too mUCh emphasis on their what schools their children get accepted into at the expense of allowing them to grow and mature in other ways? There’s obviously no right answer to this question, so I would love to hear from you readers. What are your thoughts on this?
本文作者：前哈佛面試官、哈佛知名校友Mr. Patrick LI